The Busy Person’s Guide To Actually Staying In Touch

“Let’s definitely stay in touch.” Famous last words if there ever were any.

We’re all busy these days. But how do you ensure that you stay in touch with the people in your network that you actually care about? What steps can you take to increase the odds of actual relationship building instead of simply falling into the patter of year-long hiatuses of zero contact?

Here are four straightforward steps:

1. Be Able to Say No to People

One of the toughest parts of staying in touch with people is that you can easily get overwhelmed if you try to stay in touch with *everybody you meet. *The first tip to staying in touch with your most impactful contacts is to identify who is, and just as importantly who is not, a part of your desired connection network.

Don’t feel any hard feelings if you identify someone who deem a member of the latter group. It’s much better to reconnect with your preferred network in a meaningful way more frequently than to reconnect with your entire network in a superficial way more sporadically.

2. Set A Calendar Reminder to Ping In 3 Months

Right after you leave the coffee catch up, lunch, or drinks, set yourself a calendar reminder three or six months out depending on your relationship that simply says “Re-connect with ______.”

This sounds simple, but too often we give our memory too much credit and assume we’ll remember to stay connected and then a year passes and you realize you haven’t spoken to that person in quite some time.

3. Write 1 Topic & 1 Goal for Each

This next one takes #2 one level deeper. One of the most effective ways to supercharge your catch-ups is to revisit at least one memorable topic from your prior conversation with that person. This shows a level of care, interest, and active listening that is often missing in an age of self-obsession.

A related quick tip is to browse one of their social media platforms to get a quick gauge of what they’ve been interested in recently and work that into a conversation. It’s a surprisingly effective way to immediately find resonance. Another tactic that will result in immediate brownie points is to check-in on one of their goals. This will take a few meetings to establish, but if you ask them what they’re currently working towards or focused on — then, when you reach back out for your next touch base you can (1) again show the level of care reflected in your memory of that goal and (2) come prepared to share any resources, information, or insights you may’ve gained on that subject since the last chat (say you read a book on that topic or had another conversation that may tie into this one, etc.).

4. Ask For Their Preferred Contact Method

The last one is one of the most underrated questions, but personally, I think it is extremely important. Ask them how they prefer to stay in touch. People operate on vastly different timelines and tools. Some exclusively check email, others prefer phone calls or DMs or calendar items.

By asking someone outright how they like to stay in touch, you dramatically increase the likelihood of connecting in the future.